PATIENCE

They always say, "patience is a virtue" however, I don't do well with patience. I am a planner, a go-getter someone who plans her daughter's birthday parties almost 5 months in advance (and yes I have the details done) but I don't do well with waiting, how can I wait when I have things I want to plan. I guess this is going to be a really good test for me and a really good situation for me to learn a little bit more patience. I am a mom for crying out loud you would think I would have some of it already.
My new dr has records, FINALLY now I am waiting to see if we are on the same schedule or if our schedule will change slightly due to missing information. Why do they make me wait a whole day, why can't they just call me in the morning to avoid this much emotional baggage we could do without! No BUENO I tell you!! Oh well hopefully by the end of today I know something more regardless if I have to wait a few more weeks to start this, I have waited since last August for the funds what is another few weeks, right? That is another thing why does this cost so much darn money! Who does it really go to, thank you god for providing us with our new dr; he is our miracle during this journey.

A change in directions

This may sound crazy and kind of weird, but we switched doctors. That is right we switched doctors, when I called my dr last Thursday, I had this strange feeling come over me, I couldn't quiet put it into words or describe the emotions but it wasn't right. I felt sick and sweaty, well I heard an advertisment on the radio and I called it, I am now officially a new patient of a new dr office. He has so much more compassion, bedside manner is incredible, promised if try #1 one went astray try #2 could be done at any stage in the game, cheaper (I know not always better but in this case YES) and free meds. It was like a sign from god, I tell you it is something that can't be explained but the feelings of emotions and sickness is gone. I am relaxed, calm and ready for this journey. BEST NEWS is we don't have to stop, we keep going same schedule same rountine moving forward. A true blessing we were brought in front of this new dr and we couldn't be happier with our decision! I wish someone would have told me how emotional this entire journey from start to finish would be on you. I can tell already with bc it is going to be a bumpy ride!

And so it begins

Today, my period has started; I made my first of many calls to the doctor. I am waiting for the call to be returned so I can get my "calendar" this is an awesome thing the nurses make up for you that shows when you actually have to start injecting yourself and when you go in to have the eggs retrieved and put back in! For the first couple of weeks they make you go on birth control, ummm I thought we were trying to get pregnant again not avoid it! I guess when you are going through this the b/c helps your uterus make a nice comfy home for your eggs. Nice eh?

Well this has been long awaited;  9 months to be exact to finally get to this point and we are HERE! I can't even believe it, I am so ready to cry and we haven't even started the process. I guess when you want something so badly and you finally are given another opportunity for it to happen it is a miracle in itself. A true blessing. I know that God has guided us to this point and he will continue to guide us through this journey.


Wish us luck and pray for us!

"God's blessings come in packages both large and small. Sometimes they are expected and sometimes not" - Unknown

Finally some good news....

During this whole process no one ever tells you what the men have to go through let alone us! My husband has been a real trooper and so amazing; a huge supporter. He had his appointment last Thursday and we will start our entire process sometime this week. His results came back at 4:57 on Friday. Nothing like waiting until the last minute and let me just tell you how awesome it was to hear all is well for my husband's end. It made our weekend!!!!! It is just such a relief to hear his results are perfect and it just sets the tone really for what we are about to embark on. Can't wait to share the rest of the journey...

A little bit about us...

My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We have a very energetic 4-1/2 year old who is getting so big with every day that passes. I work full time and run a part time business which I am sure most have heard of Bitty Bloomin' Bowtique (http://www.bittybloominbowtique.com/) My husband also works full time or more like ALL THE TIME, his hours are crazy and he works hard. 


It just amazes me that almost 5 years ago she was born a true miracle! I was induced and during the induction while given my epidural they turned my heartbeat monitor off. Jaden was not breathing when she was born. They had to hook up a breathing machine to her; it was the most horrifying experience I have ever gone through in my life. She truly is our miracle; gift from God if you will. My husband and I have been trying since Jaden was 2 for baby #2; with no luck and testing after testing, needle prick after needle prick we have to go through IVF (invitro) in order to have any more babies. If anyone who reads this blog has not had any trouble or history with infertility it truly is such a heart wrenching exprience. You are torn, you are battered, your emotions ride a roller coaster of feeling sad, happy, angry, mad and hopeless. We are blessed and we know that the gift we received from GOD is a great one. However, we would like to have a bigger family so after a few months of trying to figure out who we were as individuals and parents we have made the decision to go through with the IVF. And for some the feeling of wanting more and it not working is such a hard pill to swallow; especially when you don't know why or how this has happened to you.


So here we are....ready to start and just days from this all taking place. I am nervous, scared and anxious. I worry with the cost of this all, if the end result will be what we have wanted for so long, I worry about what it will be like, I worry of losing a baby in between the process. It is going to be grueling but my AMAZING husband who has been their since the beginning and has been awesome so I have not doubts he will be such a huge help with this entire process. So since it feels so much better to talk about these things and more and more I am finding people who are in the same position I am in or are just facing infertility for the first time, I thought I would try my best to document my journey! I have looked for so many places for people to say what it was like or how they overcame the journey and couldn't find exactly what I wanted. I hope you enjoy the ride...

Our lil' princess Jaden 2010